Friday, June 7, 2013

Project Androgyjumpsuit





Monday, June 3, 2013

Dichotomy of Life

How important is it to you to know the truth about yourself? All the light, all of the darkness, no difference.

What does it mean for you to investigate the darker parks?
Similar to many of you out there, I have a desire to understand my wholeness, my role, my place in this universe.
I am on this earth right now as Elissa Cirignotta and she is short with a bumpy nose. I am darkness and I am light. I am you. I am your daughter. I am this pen. I am your ex-husband and your friend. I am the dog barking in the distance and the car driving by. I am the sound of the wind. I am everything that is beauty.

The darkness seems less and less dark as I realize that the beauty does not, can not, exist without it.  For the darkness, I find myself thankful. I am thankful for my tears. I am thankful for the pain of heart hurt.

They are a part of this journey of beauty.

Friday, March 22, 2013

The very best in me honors the very best in you.

Did you know that hope and optimism enable achievement? Apparently hope alters brain chemistry which influences our decisions and the actions we make.
I've been spending a great deal of my time thinking, discussing, and researching topics like hope, love, and goodness. How are they measured? Or quantified? What makes happy?
Lately my free time involves me, a yoga mat, and downward dog. I've stepped up my yoga practice in the last month and now more than ever  I am experiencing this mind body connection, with my breath working as the invisible thread that links the two.  I am more in control of my body than I've ever been and with that has come a sense of calm within that makes every day easier and better. Don't get me wrong, things don't always go my way and the firey Sicilian-Jewish blood makes an appearance just often enough to assure me that I still got it; however overall, I find, that I keep celebrating life.

So here are a few things I know.
The more I celebrate life the more life I have to celebrate.
The more I move from judgement to caring, isolation to connection, and indifference to understanding the more I love myself.
The more I love myself the more I love others.
The more I love others the more I experience hope, happiness, and optimism.

The dopamine pleasure surge is highest when people become fully engaged  in the practice of optimism, gratitude, hope, and an overall sense of well being. What gives us that surge?
Drugs, alcohol, over-eating, participating in acts of kindness, making choices and solving problems, engaging in physical activities, enjoying creative efforts, collaborating, etc... The more consistent we are in experiencing pleasure and rewards that come from physical activity, creative efforts, social interactions and over-all positive experiences the less likely we are to engage in risky behaviors that could bring harm to us and others.
Because I strongly believe we are all connected to one another, I often experience that sense of urgency that we must immediately begin to focus on becoming the very best person we can be. It is no accident that when you look closely into the eyes of another, the very first thing you see, is yourself. We are all somehow connected.

I'm going to be 30 in 2 and 1/2 months and decided that I wanted to conduct a small experiment for the remaining time in my 20s.
Everyday in April and May I am going to consciously engage in an activity that is dopamine inducing and on May 31st reassess my overall appreciation for life.
I invite you to join me. Keep track of your activity and feel free to share with others. If you don't feel better after 2 months, I'm sorry; I'll be sending you cosmic love... If you feel great, then please continue to celebrate and learn with me. Let's start to live vicariously through our own lives.

The very very best in me honors the very very best in you.

April: These 5 suggestions should be practiced on a daily basis.
1. Either in a journal or on post-its, document 1 thing you are thankful for. (Do this before bed every night.)
2. Practice seeing yourself through the eyes of genuine compassion. (Explore what that means for you.)
3. Tell yourself, every morning, that you are beautiful.
4. Do one thing everyday that you fear. (Borrowed this one from good ole Eleanor Roosevelt. But seriously, do it.)
5. Think good thoughts. Remember, we create the world we want.

May: These are only suggestions, mix and match, add your own... What's important is that you consciously engage in one a day.
1. Go to a laundry mat and leave 6 quarters on 3 separate washers.
2. Write a letter to a friend.
3. Prepare a meal for a homeless person and go deliver it to them.
4. Give an inspiring book away.
5. Put $10 on a random gas pump.
6. Buy a stranger a lottery ticket.
7. Give something awesome away on Craigslist or Facebook.
8. Go to a yoga class. x20
9. Be bold in your appreciation of life; make a list of 10 things that you are thankful for.
10. Send a sibling or someone like a sibling a small token of your love.
11. Go to a local coffee shop and treat yourself to your very favorite bagel and chai and then leave $5 to go towards the next person that orders.
12. Volunteer at a soup kitchen.
13. Find a hula hoop and HOOP!
14. Leave a yummy chocolate bar for a colleague.
15. Leave your favorite book in a public space with a note in it.
16. Send a stranger a letter! (This one is fun!)
17. Leave special something(vegan cookies?) and a note for your mail(wo)man.
18. Tell yourself that you are beautiful, creative, and intelligent...everyday.
19. Plant wild flowers in your garden... Or sprinkle them around your community.
20. Leave a dollar bill taped to a vending machine with a note that says "Pay it foward".
21. Tell one person every single day that you love them.
22. Tell yourself, every single day, that you love YOU.
23. Make eye contact and smile when you pass a stranger.
24. Offer to help a friend.
25. Bring a coffee in for your front desk receptionist.
26. Write your favorite teacher/professor a thank you note.
27. Take a walk in nature.
28. Pet a cat.
29. Buy someone a flower. (It's such a nice surprise to receive a flower.)
30. Create something. Sit down and paint a picture, write a journal entry, make a collage, build a birdhouse, or sew a pillowcase.
31. Do something that makes you feel OH SO GOOD!



"Happy people are as unique and beautiful as snowflakes, while unhappy people are tediously, monotonously, excruciatingly the same." Martha Beck.







Thursday, February 28, 2013

drooling over beards

I am a sucker for tall men with dark beards...

I have moved to the right city for oh so many reasons.














Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Chunking

It's February 12th at 7:55 am and I'm pretty sure I was in a similar state of confusion on February 12th of '94. (If my memory serves me well, I was prepping myself for a raging case of the chicken poxs filled with disappointed that I could not give my crush his Valentines.) Thank goodness I've developed better coping skills for my stress and confusion.
But back to now, my eye twitch started this weekend and has been going strong for 3 days now. So I did what any sane adult would do... I called in sick.
So far today I've opened my curtains, finished a cup of warm chai, and read the Ope magazine in it's entirety. What's next on the list? Concur the world.
O's Best Advice Ever!: Make Over Your Life with Oprah & Friends by Edi (Google Affiliate Ad)

I've been a teacher for long enough to know that when an assignment is too large to tackle, we teach children how to chunk. Chunk seems like a funny word to use but really it's appropriate. We teach students how to break down the assignment into workable sections. With the combined efforts of the teacher's scaffolded instruction and the student's motivation in working through each section, the final product is almost always achieved. Baby steps, yo.

On the bed beside me I have 6 books, a notebook that is intended to help me "chunk",  a notepad for all my brilliant ideas, a pen, and a post-it pile of all my other fabulous ideas that will inevitably end up inside the 6 books or plastered to my vintage wooden desk.
The issue:
I am in a serious transitional phase with a lot of unknown ahead.
I'm starting a new career, perhaps, and now because everyone knows I'm leaving my position at the end of the school year I feel this immense amount of pressure (that I'm placing on myself) to work even harder to prove that I'm committed. I am trying to become an expert in my new career by reading 1 million books this year and design a research project (which is doubly challenging when you've never conducted any formal research). I'm navigating a world of marketing myself and building clientele = hard. And there's there all the personal stuff going on.. My beloved baby brother is experiencing his first heart break, AHHH, my best friend's marriage is failing, double AHHH, and I haven't been on a date in 1 month and 12 days... AHHHHH

What would Martha Beck tell me to do?
I suppose I will have to listen to my own inner wisdom until Martha is available to address my needs.

First up: identify books that can be backburnered (is that a word?).
I'm 136 pages into The Early Years of Bill Clinton's Autobiography, be still my heart, but Bill can wait.
My Life by Clinton, Bill [Hardcover] (Google Affiliate Ad)
Book Club meets on Feb 22nd prior to a faux fur party, so The Madonnas of Echo Park has been moved to the top of the list.
30 Shamanic Questions- reality is I have too much on my plate. I'll save my shamanic journey for July.
Wherever you go there you are, a fabulous book about mindfulness meditation. This has been an ongoing read that I think I'm ready to pass on, however given my current "freak out" mode, it might seem like I should read it 3 more times.
Yoga Calm for Children and The Essentials of Yoga stay.

Wow I already feel better.

Next, develop a list of what to do when stressed.

1) 8 hours of sleep makes me wake up happy
2) Yoga
3) Take a bath
4) Write a blog entry
5) Read
6) Write a list of things I'm thankful for
7) Go for a walk
8) Read in a coffee shop
9) Take a nap
10) Eat kale or a banana with peanut butter
11)Write a letter
12) Meditate

Ok... getting better.

Now I need to figure out how to get at least 20 clients.

I am so inspired by my new job. I stared at my business cards for a good ten minutes alone in my room the first night I received them. I get to be a part of a company that believes kindness will change the world. I have been given a platform to speak kindness and healing and help children experience the equilibrium that yoga can create between the body and the mind. Dreamy, eh?
Check it out: http://www.imaginationyoga.com/special_needs_children.html

So that's that, and for today I am going to trust and know that the clients will come pouring in.

Now I'm ready to get out of bed and do something new and exciting. Since when did dealing with stress become fun?

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Letters

I started today as a Ms. Mopeaaay. I do not like myself when I mope. Grumpy can be tolerable; mopey makes me extra emotional which makes me irrational which oftentimes later makes me sad. I try to avoid or deflect mopey at all possible costs.  
So, I went into full steam.  I drug myself to a favorite local coffee shop and read Sadartha while drinking tasty expensive coffee. I came home and made a special egg sandwich, (olive and cheese, topped with ketchup... yum). Then I walked 34 blocks and across the Morrison Bridge to a new yoga studio for new type of yoga, yay! I crossed a different bridge (I'm a hopeless romantic; I love walking across bridges.), and stopped for some fresh local vegetables on the 2 mile walk home. 

Sure, all of those prana giving healthy choices helped a little, but as soon as I got home I fell back into morning mopester. I tried a new technique for the second half of the afternoon. This time I would embrace it and completely relish in my single-hood. I made a mental list of all reasons I am thankful for this space and time of my life. I've got it good. 

I made my healthy wild rice vegetable bake, blah blah blah, made coffee at 5:00 pm, whatever I don't even care!, turned my pandora to Regina Spektor and the powerhouse ladies, and pulled out the ole file folder box. 


Inside that box is a folder titled, "Love Letters". Shiiiiiiiiiiit, I did it. I pulled it, sat down in the middle of the carpet with my coffee and wild rice on one side and blinds open on the other. I just read through years of love letters. 

I stopped when I was interrupted by BeyoncĂ©'s Single Ladies playing in the background. Seriously, I'm not even joking a little. 

I find myself laughing at the impeccable timing of the universe.  I like letting things unfold. I like life. I like being a single lady right now. 

So now, I'm going to take this slightly caffeinated, well fed, single Elissa, and I'm going to go dancing, because I can. 




Wednesday, January 2, 2013

A new kind of love

I love love. Sometimes I can give myself a natural high thinking about all the ways to give and feel love.  It is not uncommon for me to read about it, talk about it, consciously observe it, and practice it. Yet, I'm 29 and a half years old and I still feel clueless. This world seems as much of a mystery to me as it did in 1999. Last week I traveled back to Pennsylvania for the Holidays and I experienced an new kind of love.
My nuclear family hasn't been together, perhaps even once, since April of 2001. This has forced me to evaluate, redefine, and contemplate my definition of "family". With each experience the definition evolves. It gets better and better.
Two years ago we came together twice in one year; for the weddings of both my baby and big sister.  This summer my big sister gave birth to our first family baby, Anwen Rosemary. This, and because my father has been planning a move back to Sicily during this upcoming year an almost silent command was initiated for us to be together again. We traveled from Brooklyn NY, Wichita KS, Portland OR, and Harrisonburg VA to get to Central Pennsylvania for the Holidays.
We laughed so much during our four days together. We laughed at each other, with each other, silently or loud enough to force Papa to wear double ear plugs at night. We passed around our baby, celebrated with food and wine and...beer, rum, and Disaronno- a family staple), we played games-sometimes against our will, we had snow ball fights- also sometimes against our will, we reminisced and shared old family stories while walking through the cemetery or cozily snuggling beside the Christmas tree, we had fun!
We Cirignotta's have traveled through some rocky roads. Life hasn't been a peach pie; we are all very different creatures and have responded uniquely different to the rocks we've encountered on our individual and collective paths. The additional four members, my amazing(ly) tall brother-in-laws, the treasure box that is my brother's girlfriend, and our butterball Anwen have all served as bridges.
I am very thankful for the blood family I was born into and all the lessons I've learned from each and every one of them. They have been some of my greatest teachers.
I am grateful I spent my last week of 2012 with a new kind of Cirignotta plus family.