Sunday, November 6, 2011

I found a dime in my dream.

Hello blog,

It has been quite awhile since I have sat down and had honest reflection.

The last two months have been a blur; a series of events, within my life or of those connected to me, that have had life altering effects. I'm left feeling numb, slightly in awe, confused, and perhaps unbalanced.
Life feels bigger than me. My skill set is either vastly under-develeoped or under-practiced. I do not feel qualified to offer counsel to my friends. I do not feel competent enough to manage my work responsibilities. And I once again am struck by the curse of falling in love.  Often all I have to give is deep empathy and silence. I see pain and sorrow seeping from their energy.

I am sad. Pain and suffering is real. And it is strong.

Alongside my sadness is love. I love to love. I love love. I believe it will conquer all. In the midst of all the pain we can find love. Julie will learn to live and love in this lifetime without the guidance of her earth mother. Michael will one day ride public transportation without fearing stab wounds. Lila will find a peace in her sexuality. Valerie will continue to walk alongside her dying husband. I will allow the universe to unfold in front of me.

 Embrace it and allow pain to have it's time and serve it's purpose.

And I'll accept the dimes that come to me in my sleep.

 Love,
Elissa

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