Dimes

I want to vibrate in harmony with who I really am.

Love

I want to feel good.

Love

I want to find the thought that feels the best.

Love

I will go forth in perfect faith in the power of Omnipresent Good to bring me what I need at the time I need it.

Rose

I grew up in a home that was fairly rich in culture and ridiculously strict with traditions. No one would dare challenge some of the idiocracies threaded into years of passed down rules... such as name everyone the same name...?
My grandmother is Maddalena Guastella and my grandfather is Salvatore Cirignotta. My sister is Maddalena, my bother Salvatore, my cousin is named Salvatore, and my other cousin is Salvatore, and my uncle is Salvatore and my friend down the street is Salvatore because his grandfather was Salvatore; but getting back to family, the Maddalenas do just as good of a job of decorating the town.
This is such a powerful tradition that my grandfather cried when he heard my American(Jewish) mother did not want to name her son Salvatore; a reasonable wish, wouldn't you say?

Because my siblings had forced names, my mother decided to withhold middle names from all of us, just to be fair, obviously.
I shouldn't be too upset about the fact that I'm middlenameless because I am the only child in my family with a completely original name. Yet when you are a 9 year old fourth grader who has already been named the class misfit going to school on "Call yourself by your Middle Name day" becomes so much more frustrating. It becomes yet another thing you have to do to explain your unaccepted differences.
And that marks the day that I started making them up. Elissa Rosalia, Elissa Rosella, Elissa Marie, and Elissa Rosanna were among the most common. I had a strange fascination with the Rose+combo and would often rotate through them.


____
It's been a while since I have adopted a new middle name.
Roses have recently become a significant part of my life. This evening after another magical evening on the porch with beautiful souls I decided that in this new phase of my life I will give myself the middle name Rose, simply.

The Porch

The Porch

The porch is a place where women gather in solidarity; where we learn how to live as motherless daughters.

The porch is a place where you are heard.

It is a place where music is made, where dreams become reality, a place where friendships begin.

Sisters are given permission to hold hands and evolve, united in love.

Stories are breathed and tears are embraced.

Time disappears and the purest of love beams from the hearts of those that are present.

The porch is a place where you get what you need, where love is bigger than hate, and good is omnipresent.

All are welcome on my porch.

Imma Jew

My first lesson in being a Jew. From an Indian 26 year old man in a strange house in Madison Wisconsin. His name, Mohamed.

shabbat- free dinner on Fridays, These happen at the jewish palaces called Halliel
Oy Vey- this means, "woooah",
Schiska- Seinfeid says its a Jewish temptress. She tempts non jews or Jews on the fence. It's a negative phrase, like, "Man, that girls a schiska."
Schmutz- weird crappy thing you can't get off your jacket. "You got some schmutz there, you better wipe if off before you go inside for Shabbat."
Bat mitzba- When a jew girl becomes a jew lady.
Challah- gooooood jewish bread
hannakah- opposite of Christmas
yarmulke- jew hat



One step closer to understanding my roots.

Leap of faith

I had what seemed to be a big disappointment occur this week. I didn't get the job that I had been hoping to get. A process that has extended into 4 months, just to find out I wasn't selected.

I also haven't yet found a place to live.

So here I am, tock a tickin' and I'm not sure what my future holds for me. It's a terrifying place to be standing in.

I met someone yesterday who told me that my aura sends off the message that life will be ok. That I am taken care of.

I slipped away after my conversation with her and help back my tears. It was the first time that I realized how big of a leap I've taken.

I don't know how I ended up in Portland.

I know I want to find a job that is full of love. I want my money and source of nutrition to come from a place of giving and life.

I want to live in a home that I am comfortable in. With people that are kind and aware of the beauty of the earth.

I am not completely lost. I am surrounded by the deepest and most beautiful family here. I am not alone.

I am trusting that love, income, shelter, food, and health are in my future.

He

I miss him every day.

The Flowering Pot

There is a deeper beauty in a flowering pot than in a gardening hose.

Somehow the one additional step of using the garden hose to fill the tin flowering pot makes you feel more connected to the flower itself.

As I watered the tomato plants this afternoon I caught my mind daydreaming back to a time in Taos, New Mexico, where I was surrounding by nothing but sage bushes and the greenest roughage I had ever seen. With a dog who went by the name of "Brown Dog Chicken Brown Dog", sniffing my feet begging to be pet, as I nourished the exotic flower beds with the water from a Flowering Pot, around a stranger's plantation.

It was a surreal moment. And yet natural and obvious.

Always use a flowering pot. It will cheer it up. Try it sometime.