How to... make friends.

I met this girl a week or so ago while hula hooping. She was nice enough, and we chatted while hooping. After some conversation we discovered that we not only both had the same outdated blue chocolates (that's a phone), but we also taught in the same district, just a mile apart, AND we shared a mutual friend, my brother-in-law.

At the end of our conversation she invited me to participate in a Monday Night Activity Club that she started several years ago. "A great way to meet friends", was how she ended her quick advertisement for her 140 person club.

Well... if you happen to know me these days, you know that I'm in the market for some friends. Not that my friends aren't good enough, because I am quite happy with each and every one of them, but many of them still here in the DC area are now married or with child, or both= makes for a lonely Friday night.

I saw an email sent out from the MNAC about a play tonight at Woolly Mammoth, the best theater in DC, and I decided to jump on it!

I was meeting one of the participants of this MNAC at the theater for my ticket. As fate would have it, this dude, knowing I don't know anyone yet, gave me the ONLY ticket that was by itself, in the second row. "Jerk", was my first thought. But fortunately I sat beside a chatty guy. And really, everyone in the theater was a stranger so it didn't really matter who I sat beside., just stunk because the whole reason I drug my butt out in the gross heat was to go make some new friends...

The play was phenomenal! Go see it. BootyCandy.

http://www.woollymammoth.net/performances/show_bootycandy.php

Well, at the end of the play, my chatty neighbor Raul, asked me to get coffee with this week. And WALA, new friend.

So there Monday Night Activity Club!

Monthly spectaculars

2011 has been pretty kind to me thus far, and I've been quite pleased and thankful for all the opportunities I've had in these last 5 months.

December 31,2010, 11:30 pm. Place, Lima Peru. I began my year on a southern continent.

January.

We dropped off our backpacks and ran into the streets of Lima. We had to take cover from the homemade fireworks, as several young boys were setting them off across the street from us and an older gentlemen was setting one off about an inch from us. I was convinced we weren't going to make it back alive. My fears were reinforced when we walked by a flaming fire in the middle of the street as a result of a "gone bad" fuego artificial. It was either the fireworks, or the crazy drivers... red lights mean beep loud but don't bother to slow down, that were going to be the end of Elissa Cirignotta... or so I thought.

January was full of surprises. Besides bussing my way all over the luscious mountainy Peruvian terrain and surfing and sipping beers on the cold waters brought by the Humbolt current I also got to go to a place that I have seen in my dreams. A place I consider to be one of the most magical lands on earth. Easter Island. I climbed a volcano. I talked to the heads. I cried into the ocean. I developed excitement over a far away Southern romance. I watched the sunsets and saw the sun greet me in the morning.
February.February was no disappointment after thatepic adventure. I battled my usual issues obviously, but was getting so many universe kisses still that I often woke up feeling giddy.
I spent the short month visiting with my old friends. Holding babies. Skyping my southern romance. And then my friend asked me to go to Oprah with her. I got to do yet ANOTHER thing I've always thought would be amazing to do in my lifetime. I winked at this American Icon, Oprah Winfrey. And as though it couldn't get better, Oprah gave me (and everyone else there) 2 tickets to Ceaser's Palace in Vegas, along with 2 tickets to Celine Dion, and free food for the weekend. Good one, universe.

March.
March was pretty monumental. I made a leap larger than I thought possible toward healing a wound I've been hiding. March was healing.
However, all good things must also end... so they say.

April.
April had it's FAIR share of difficulties. But it also had Oprah's vacation to Vegas with 3 amazing women. And 7 days of Coastal California with powerful and beautiful people. Plus I got a really big paycheck.

May.

Other than going on the romantic DC date that I always wanted to go on, and having some out of town visitors, my month has been kinda...blah?

I keep waiting for that awesome something to happen. It doesn't. Perhaps that's unrealistic. It is quite uncommon to have a "spectacular" event occur every month of the year. However on the flip side, I lead a slightly uncommon life right now. Perhaps turning 28 is going to be spectacular? Maybe I should focus more on those small day to day joys in my last 4 days of May and 27?

It's been a bad day.

Have you ever had really bad days? Or discouraging days?

Yesterday was a big buzz kill day for me. It was hard and stirred up anger. I know anger is important to feel, but I don't like myself when I harbor anger.

I did a compassion meditation on Saturday evening where I was guided to think of someone I have a difficult relationship with and then ultimately fill them with compassion. It was a good reminder of how fresh and beautiful compassion makes your heart feel.

Sometimes I really suck at being compassionate.

This week my whole life kinda looks different again. These moments make me feel overwhelmed and lost in this bustling and busy world.

Yet, I hold on this faith I have, that I don't really understand, as a non religious human being.

I told the universe last night that I am completely open. I will go where I am led. I don't really know what that means or how that will transpire, but here we go. My hands are up.

Farm in Pennsylvania

This morning as I walked out the door, I was greeting with an invasion of memories. There was a new rain on the ground, giving freshness to the earth. The natural scent of the trees and dirt were pungent in the air and seeped their way into my memories.
For a second I was ten, waking up on gramma and grandad's farm. Waking up from a restful sleep in the pitchblack basement bedroom, having fallen asleep to the sounds of singing frogs. Gramma was upstairs watching the news, making coffee, and preparing breakfast. I first walked up the stairs in my pjs to be greeted by this lovely woman with thin lips that smelled of perfume. I stepped outside covering my barefeet with the new dew, misty fog in the air, and mountains, grass, horses, and nature on all sides of me.

Then I got in my car and drove to work.

best salad

A recipe to share.

1 carrot chopped

1 spring onion

a handful of snap peas

1/4 of a tomato cubed

arugula

dressing

1 tablespoon of honey

2 tablespoon of olive oil

2 garlic cloves minced

a big squirt of mustard

The Art of Leaving.

On the road you are in a constant flux of both arrival and departure, never staying quite long enough to feel the comfort of familiarity or staying just long enough that the comfort of familiarity gives you permission to extend your wings and ride on, or sometimes... makes it harder to fly away.
Stops are replaced by faces. New Orleans, Austin, Taos, San Diego, Tucson, Nogales, Bisbee, San Francisco, Portland, Los Angelos, Lima, Huanchaco, Arlington, Alexandria, Portland, Phoenix, Atlanta, Mancora, Cajamarca, Mount Joy, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Columbus, Bar Harbor, Narragansett, Providence, Newport, Boston, Chicago, Lubbock, Las Vegas, Bakersfield, Berkeley, Corvalis, Lancaster,Harrisburg, Harrisonburg, Santa Barbara, Salem. (Yes, those are all the places I have been to in 1.5 years. Scary and amazing.) All of these faces have a story. A unique, sometimes dark, often complex, and beautiful story. But because of the nature of who I am right now I am only able to create a brief glimpse into a life that I may never fully know.

The Art of Leaving. Part I

I decided to write about this because it is something I struggle with.
Leaving.
I'm scared of being left behind.
No, let's clarify; I'm TERRIFIED of being left behind. (Note that I'm not referring to the George Bush or Revelations rendition of the phrase.)
I've spent the larger majority of my last ten years struggling with my family leaving me behind and having this fear effect my relationships with men, with friendships, and with myself even.
So what did I do?
I left.
I left over and over again.
I kept leaving. I left my thoughts. I abandoned some of my emotions and moved onto other fears I wanted to face.
After all, if I'm the one who keeps leaving, it becomes harder for someone to leave me? Logical,no?

Now, I do have to give myself some credit as well, because an abandoner am I not. I do, however, define myself as being an adventurer. After spending some time picking up my pieces I wanted to feel, breathe, experience, talk, and live. But in order to do it, I had to leave. I didn't just leave a location, I left a state of mind. I wanted to stop thinking.. SO MUCH, about everything. I wanted to throw caution to the wind.

I don't think I should be too hard on myself and also have to take credit for the years that I stayed. I loved myself enough to commit to therapy, to crying, to writing, to talking, and learning. I made myself face the situation I was in and learn how to be ok with what was left.


Well, here I am. With the same fear I started facing in 2001.

I'm thinking about not leaving. I'm thinking about getting that studio apartment in Northwest DC. I'm thinking about getting some bookshelves and unpacking my clothes. I'm thinking about spending a year staying. In one place. (minus some adventures here and there).
but these are just some thoughts.

LOL. (Laugh Out Loud)

I really enjoy laughing. I love lots of types of humor... quirky, dry, accidental, parodies, satires... I like it. I laugh.

I have so many funny friends in my life.
Some recent people that have made me laugh include...

Majed. Majed and I could sit and laugh for hours. Literally, it seemed as though all we did was laugh. Sometimes we would sit and watch Youtube videos and just laugh, take bike rides along the river path (the river path is void of river, but if you have ever lived in the southwest you know that people really want to pretend they have water and things like rivers, so they call dried up washes, rivers, rationalizing that because once a year during a heavy monsoon water will flow through it for about 10 minutes) and laugh across the way to each other, make dinner- laugh,.. . Our senses of humors clicked well, so we fed off of one another. He is a brilliant creature whom is often as equally silly.. combination=really funny.

Beth. Beth and I were meant to do stand up together. Really, we probably weren't, but ourcombined jokes, make me SO happy. The Katie, Beth, Becky, Emily, Elissa, Annie, Dan, Stepan combo= killer.

I could go on and on about all my funny friends. But I'm going to stop here for a minute.. and talk about Jane Doe. Jane Doe sends the best emails ever. I LOL everytime I read her emails. I don't have her permission yet to post these, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway just because they are so awesome.
Here's a bit of what it's like to be friends with my lovely friend, Jane Doe. (everyone's name is Jane Doe- Fyi, not quite as funny(ironically), but when I have some time I'll make up fun names for them.)

sample 1:
"I am typing with two hands today because Jane Doe is napping. It feels so lovely to type with two hands.

Jane Doe I cant believe you jogged!!! Super -mom. Or just super strong perineum!! You have the best perineum ever. I still have not gone walking but I think I am going to attempt a walk in the park today."

sample 2:
"yes the dress is great. Wearing a bra is of upmost importance. I ordered a bra through the mail and just received it yesterday. It is a 34G. Plus with the milk leaking I need breast pads at all times so I will definitely be wearing a bra on becky and stepans wedding day. My boobs are still larger than Ellie's head. My perineum cringes at the thought of what it would be like to birth one of my breasts. So thankfully I just birthed a baby. Speaking of my perineum cringing. Whenever I hear someone talk about having 8+ children, my vagina cries a little bit.


Jane Doe I am confused a little bit about what exactly you want me to measure. Maybe its because my brain is still sleep deprived despite the fact that my mom is feeding
Jane Doe one bottle per day. I think when my mom leaves I will probably go from being a little slow to being MR.
Jane Doe you should do an intelligence test on me and maybe I could qualify for some sort of government assistance?

I am so excited that you guys are all cutting your hair short. I would like to do that too.
Jane Doe can you send me a picture of your new haircut. I hope you left a tail in the back. Remember
Jane Doe our old youth leader from church. She had that sweet braided tail. man some people are just too cool to handle.

My mother has been introduced to all sorts of "worldly" things since she has been at our house. I have introduced her to The Kardashians (she had never heard of them), the movie The Hangover, house hunters, meet the fockers, and swamp people. She is totally intrigued but I feel that I am damaging her precious little mind with our fancy cable TV.

Elissa I am planning on ordering another bra so if you want you can use it as a sleeping bag you can when we have our all girl slumber party. Just wanted to let you know so you didn't pack a sleeping bag."

sample 3:
"Jane Doehas been intermittantly screaming/crying sinve 4 30am.. it is 1 15pm. i am sending her to gauntanamo bay to torture the prisoners there."


sampe 4:
"Yes Jane Doe I will take a size small then. Elissa I have a dress of Jane Doe's that she just grew out of. Do you want me to send it to you? You might be able to wear it for the rehearsal dinner. Its has pink and black polka dots and has a little black cardigen to match. Just let me know.

I know these emails are directed towards wedding planning so I am sorry if I am boring you with details of my life with Jane Doe. But I feel the need to share this information. So for the last couple of nights I was convinced that Jane Doe was trying to kill me through sleep deprivation and audio annoyance. But then last night she slept for 4 hours!!! So exciting. I did give her mylecon before bed which I am now calling "Jane Doe's magic sleep potion" I am not having any high expectations for tonight but I was thinking about making a chart and giving Jane Doe gold stars for sleeping 4 or more hours and if she saves up enough then I will not send her to Cuba. Elissa I think you as a teacher can relate with this plan of action."

and finally
sample 5:
"so you know how sometimes you say sarcastically about someone "oh he thinks he is so cool that he thinks his shit don't stink" well I have met someone who literally believes that his shit does not stink and that is my dad.........the other night he claimed to me that his diet is so pure of fruits and vegetables that his stool is nearly odorless. WTF

So you know how babies cry and spit up and get gassy because their little digestive systems are immature. Well my dad was suggesting that maybe Ellie needs probiotic enzyme supplements...........remind me not to let my dad watch her lest he be feeding her activia yogurt at 4 weeks old. WTF

so my dad loves his car more than almost anything else and he spends hours waxing his car. Well he thinks my car looks terrible so he has spent the last 2 days waxing my car. Which is lovely, but he claims that the paint looks so bad because birds poop on the car and their stool is very acidic and damages the paint. I wondered aloud if my dad pooped on my car would it still cause damage to the paint? is his stool along with being nearly odorless also non-acidic???

also my dad made me watch this hour and a half long lecture on the internet as to why fructose is poison. Then he ate a bowl of icecream with chocolate syrup. WTF

Last night I was of course up with Jane Doe and I started to think about my dads odorless stool and I just started giggling and I couldnt stop. I am surprised that he didnt have me smell it or something. I think the only person who can claim nearly odorless stool is Jane Doe. Maya could probably make that claim as well.

well everyone is going to bed and I will be awake."



Don't you wish you got emails from her too?