The observed life

There are many things I don't do enough of and some I do way too much of. Lately, reading and writing have fallen dismally low on my list.
However, I suppose Christmas vacation is the perfect time to catch up on all those things.
I'm reading a book right now about several characters, some perfect strangers, who live alongside one another. One of the characters lives a quiet life. He has a relationship with one human, the neighbor who lives above him. He fears he will live the unobserved life. That all things and memories from his life will be lost to oblivion when he reaches death.
For some reason that thought stuck with me. Why? I do not worry about living a life alone, void of friendships and beautiful relationships, but perhaps its more my memory, or lack there of, that I worry about.
Once upon a time I was an obsessive journaler, documenting every small detail of my day. Today I write notes here and there, that so often end up in trashcans or in stacked up post-it note piles. I know I love life, but I don't often take the time to write stories of my day.

Mission: Document more life.

choir boys

This evening I stopped and shivered against a brick wall and listened to the choir boys through the open stain class windows.


Another taste of Portland's magic.

I found a dime in my dream.

Hello blog,

It has been quite awhile since I have sat down and had honest reflection.

The last two months have been a blur; a series of events, within my life or of those connected to me, that have had life altering effects. I'm left feeling numb, slightly in awe, confused, and perhaps unbalanced.
Life feels bigger than me. My skill set is either vastly under-develeoped or under-practiced. I do not feel qualified to offer counsel to my friends. I do not feel competent enough to manage my work responsibilities. And I once again am struck by the curse of falling in love.  Often all I have to give is deep empathy and silence. I see pain and sorrow seeping from their energy.

I am sad. Pain and suffering is real. And it is strong.

Alongside my sadness is love. I love to love. I love love. I believe it will conquer all. In the midst of all the pain we can find love. Julie will learn to live and love in this lifetime without the guidance of her earth mother. Michael will one day ride public transportation without fearing stab wounds. Lila will find a peace in her sexuality. Valerie will continue to walk alongside her dying husband. I will allow the universe to unfold in front of me.

 Embrace it and allow pain to have it's time and serve it's purpose.

And I'll accept the dimes that come to me in my sleep.

 Love,
Elissa

fun notes to get

"I'm so yours it's stupid!"

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Sidewalk chalk

makes imagination become reality.

Crunchy Granola

is my favorite...