2. Mail a package that has been ready to be mailed for 2 months
3. Buy 1 lottery ticket and win a million dollars
4.Go to yoga on time
5. Read for at least 45 minutes
6. Write at least 4 emails/notes/letters to friends
Friday, March 23, 2012
Friday chores
1. Find my local post office
2. Mail a package that has been ready to be mailed for 2 months
3. Buy 1 lottery ticket and win a million dollars
4.Go to yoga on time
5. Read for at least 45 minutes
6. Write at least 4 emails/notes/letters to friends
2. Mail a package that has been ready to be mailed for 2 months
3. Buy 1 lottery ticket and win a million dollars
4.Go to yoga on time
5. Read for at least 45 minutes
6. Write at least 4 emails/notes/letters to friends
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Go
When I have something that I know I must get done I often do everything else but that one thing.
It doesn't even have to be a dreaded task. The pressure alone creates a profound amount of procrastination and avoidance.
Ironically these are the times in my life that my overall productivity increases, by at least two standard deviations above the mean. As you would imagine this prevents me from fully reprimanding myself or worse yet, from changing the behavior. No I did not do that thing I've been telling myself I have to do for months, but yes I did change my oil, buy a lamp, paint my nails, call 23 old friends and leave 22 long voicemails, wash and fold two loads of laundry, meet a cute boy, clean the house, go to yoga, cash a check, shower more than three times in a week, and spend every second of my free time contributing to "productivity" of the world.
Now that I've completed every single errand on my list, I wonder how much longer it will take to add another 15... or perhaps maybe it's time to face my fears and sit down with a bottle of wine to write.
It doesn't even have to be a dreaded task. The pressure alone creates a profound amount of procrastination and avoidance.
Ironically these are the times in my life that my overall productivity increases, by at least two standard deviations above the mean. As you would imagine this prevents me from fully reprimanding myself or worse yet, from changing the behavior. No I did not do that thing I've been telling myself I have to do for months, but yes I did change my oil, buy a lamp, paint my nails, call 23 old friends and leave 22 long voicemails, wash and fold two loads of laundry, meet a cute boy, clean the house, go to yoga, cash a check, shower more than three times in a week, and spend every second of my free time contributing to "productivity" of the world.
Now that I've completed every single errand on my list, I wonder how much longer it will take to add another 15... or perhaps maybe it's time to face my fears and sit down with a bottle of wine to write.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Friday, March 16, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Who cares about prince charming, I'm on a mom hunt.
I did it! I found a work mom!
For quite sometime I've felt as though I have been ready ready ready for a mom. It's hard navigating the world without a mom. And it feels especially hard sometimes navigating the world as a woman without a mom. I have caught myself, on more occasion than one, bargaining with the universe for a mother. (Let's make 5 random acts of kindness equal 1 sticker and if I get 15 stickers I get a mom.) I have been on constant watch, for at least the last two years. I see moms everywhere. I am brilliantly aware of mothers in all facets of humanity. I can not however accept just any ole lady as a filler mama. Much like dating I have high standards for my potential mother.
Well wouldn't you know; they have popped up here and there and all over the world. I have begun a small collection of stand-in moms and beautiful motherly figures that I can access for all sorts of reasons. I'm still not sure if they can or will ever fully replace a real mom, you know, the kind that is required to love you most and love you forever. But None the less, I am lucky I have them and have intentions of adding to this classy mama collection until the day I die. And now I have one in Portland.
From the moment I started working for public education again, I pinned Jan as a potential work mom. The pivotal tipping point was a bizarrely painful, cruel, and unusual IEP meeting we shared. It was as though just having Jan there made it slightly less painful. She is calm, wildly intelligent, witty, compassionate, and absolutely lovely. I am fortunate enough to share 6 schools with her, giving us plenty of stressful parents and complex students to jointly analyze, commiserate over, and share laughs about.
Today after work we grabbed a beer and I realized that she this may be the beginning of another lovely relationship.
So there you have it.
For quite sometime I've felt as though I have been ready ready ready for a mom. It's hard navigating the world without a mom. And it feels especially hard sometimes navigating the world as a woman without a mom. I have caught myself, on more occasion than one, bargaining with the universe for a mother. (Let's make 5 random acts of kindness equal 1 sticker and if I get 15 stickers I get a mom.) I have been on constant watch, for at least the last two years. I see moms everywhere. I am brilliantly aware of mothers in all facets of humanity. I can not however accept just any ole lady as a filler mama. Much like dating I have high standards for my potential mother.
Well wouldn't you know; they have popped up here and there and all over the world. I have begun a small collection of stand-in moms and beautiful motherly figures that I can access for all sorts of reasons. I'm still not sure if they can or will ever fully replace a real mom, you know, the kind that is required to love you most and love you forever. But None the less, I am lucky I have them and have intentions of adding to this classy mama collection until the day I die. And now I have one in Portland.
From the moment I started working for public education again, I pinned Jan as a potential work mom. The pivotal tipping point was a bizarrely painful, cruel, and unusual IEP meeting we shared. It was as though just having Jan there made it slightly less painful. She is calm, wildly intelligent, witty, compassionate, and absolutely lovely. I am fortunate enough to share 6 schools with her, giving us plenty of stressful parents and complex students to jointly analyze, commiserate over, and share laughs about.
Today after work we grabbed a beer and I realized that she this may be the beginning of another lovely relationship.
Friday, March 2, 2012
"There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way." -Thich Nhat Hanh
I am home.
Again.
This time around I have a contractual obligation to stay put, for at least a year. Jesse, my wonderful roommate has given me verbal permission to leave if need be, which mitigates some of the internal committal fears I have, yet somehow also fuels my desire to build a little home.
We moved on Saturday. It was a physically demanding and emotionally lonely move.
The entire week as a whole has been bizarre. My super annoying type A/psycho OCD tendencies have been in full force. I unpacked every box before 10:00 pm and had the kitchen entirely put together on the day of the move. I have been constantly questioning and pondering every friendship/relationship I am in, challenging my career path, and reprioritizing my desires. I generally don't go more than 4 hours before questioning my sanity. My type A skin is not flattering on me. Something is brewing and I haven't a clue what it could be.
Jesse is a perfect housemate. We love each other. We thoroughly enjoy spending evenings in each other's company. And equally enjoy having the home to ourselves. Jesse, Gwendolyn the kitten, and I are making a lovely little home together despite being sans trashcan or dish drainer.
A new chapter begins.
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