How to... make friends.

I met this girl a week or so ago while hula hooping. She was nice enough, and we chatted while hooping. After some conversation we discovered that we not only both had the same outdated blue chocolates (that's a phone), but we also taught in the same district, just a mile apart, AND we shared a mutual friend, my brother-in-law.

At the end of our conversation she invited me to participate in a Monday Night Activity Club that she started several years ago. "A great way to meet friends", was how she ended her quick advertisement for her 140 person club.

Well... if you happen to know me these days, you know that I'm in the market for some friends. Not that my friends aren't good enough, because I am quite happy with each and every one of them, but many of them still here in the DC area are now married or with child, or both= makes for a lonely Friday night.

I saw an email sent out from the MNAC about a play tonight at Woolly Mammoth, the best theater in DC, and I decided to jump on it!

I was meeting one of the participants of this MNAC at the theater for my ticket. As fate would have it, this dude, knowing I don't know anyone yet, gave me the ONLY ticket that was by itself, in the second row. "Jerk", was my first thought. But fortunately I sat beside a chatty guy. And really, everyone in the theater was a stranger so it didn't really matter who I sat beside., just stunk because the whole reason I drug my butt out in the gross heat was to go make some new friends...

The play was phenomenal! Go see it. BootyCandy.

http://www.woollymammoth.net/performances/show_bootycandy.php

Well, at the end of the play, my chatty neighbor Raul, asked me to get coffee with this week. And WALA, new friend.

So there Monday Night Activity Club!

Monthly spectaculars

2011 has been pretty kind to me thus far, and I've been quite pleased and thankful for all the opportunities I've had in these last 5 months.

December 31,2010, 11:30 pm. Place, Lima Peru. I began my year on a southern continent.

January.

We dropped off our backpacks and ran into the streets of Lima. We had to take cover from the homemade fireworks, as several young boys were setting them off across the street from us and an older gentlemen was setting one off about an inch from us. I was convinced we weren't going to make it back alive. My fears were reinforced when we walked by a flaming fire in the middle of the street as a result of a "gone bad" fuego artificial. It was either the fireworks, or the crazy drivers... red lights mean beep loud but don't bother to slow down, that were going to be the end of Elissa Cirignotta... or so I thought.

January was full of surprises. Besides bussing my way all over the luscious mountainy Peruvian terrain and surfing and sipping beers on the cold waters brought by the Humbolt current I also got to go to a place that I have seen in my dreams. A place I consider to be one of the most magical lands on earth. Easter Island. I climbed a volcano. I talked to the heads. I cried into the ocean. I developed excitement over a far away Southern romance. I watched the sunsets and saw the sun greet me in the morning.
February.February was no disappointment after thatepic adventure. I battled my usual issues obviously, but was getting so many universe kisses still that I often woke up feeling giddy.
I spent the short month visiting with my old friends. Holding babies. Skyping my southern romance. And then my friend asked me to go to Oprah with her. I got to do yet ANOTHER thing I've always thought would be amazing to do in my lifetime. I winked at this American Icon, Oprah Winfrey. And as though it couldn't get better, Oprah gave me (and everyone else there) 2 tickets to Ceaser's Palace in Vegas, along with 2 tickets to Celine Dion, and free food for the weekend. Good one, universe.

March.
March was pretty monumental. I made a leap larger than I thought possible toward healing a wound I've been hiding. March was healing.
However, all good things must also end... so they say.

April.
April had it's FAIR share of difficulties. But it also had Oprah's vacation to Vegas with 3 amazing women. And 7 days of Coastal California with powerful and beautiful people. Plus I got a really big paycheck.

May.

Other than going on the romantic DC date that I always wanted to go on, and having some out of town visitors, my month has been kinda...blah?

I keep waiting for that awesome something to happen. It doesn't. Perhaps that's unrealistic. It is quite uncommon to have a "spectacular" event occur every month of the year. However on the flip side, I lead a slightly uncommon life right now. Perhaps turning 28 is going to be spectacular? Maybe I should focus more on those small day to day joys in my last 4 days of May and 27?

It's been a bad day.

Have you ever had really bad days? Or discouraging days?

Yesterday was a big buzz kill day for me. It was hard and stirred up anger. I know anger is important to feel, but I don't like myself when I harbor anger.

I did a compassion meditation on Saturday evening where I was guided to think of someone I have a difficult relationship with and then ultimately fill them with compassion. It was a good reminder of how fresh and beautiful compassion makes your heart feel.

Sometimes I really suck at being compassionate.

This week my whole life kinda looks different again. These moments make me feel overwhelmed and lost in this bustling and busy world.

Yet, I hold on this faith I have, that I don't really understand, as a non religious human being.

I told the universe last night that I am completely open. I will go where I am led. I don't really know what that means or how that will transpire, but here we go. My hands are up.

Farm in Pennsylvania

This morning as I walked out the door, I was greeting with an invasion of memories. There was a new rain on the ground, giving freshness to the earth. The natural scent of the trees and dirt were pungent in the air and seeped their way into my memories.
For a second I was ten, waking up on gramma and grandad's farm. Waking up from a restful sleep in the pitchblack basement bedroom, having fallen asleep to the sounds of singing frogs. Gramma was upstairs watching the news, making coffee, and preparing breakfast. I first walked up the stairs in my pjs to be greeted by this lovely woman with thin lips that smelled of perfume. I stepped outside covering my barefeet with the new dew, misty fog in the air, and mountains, grass, horses, and nature on all sides of me.

Then I got in my car and drove to work.

best salad

A recipe to share.

1 carrot chopped

1 spring onion

a handful of snap peas

1/4 of a tomato cubed

arugula

dressing

1 tablespoon of honey

2 tablespoon of olive oil

2 garlic cloves minced

a big squirt of mustard

The Art of Leaving.

On the road you are in a constant flux of both arrival and departure, never staying quite long enough to feel the comfort of familiarity or staying just long enough that the comfort of familiarity gives you permission to extend your wings and ride on, or sometimes... makes it harder to fly away.
Stops are replaced by faces. New Orleans, Austin, Taos, San Diego, Tucson, Nogales, Bisbee, San Francisco, Portland, Los Angelos, Lima, Huanchaco, Arlington, Alexandria, Portland, Phoenix, Atlanta, Mancora, Cajamarca, Mount Joy, Philadelphia, Washington DC, Columbus, Bar Harbor, Narragansett, Providence, Newport, Boston, Chicago, Lubbock, Las Vegas, Bakersfield, Berkeley, Corvalis, Lancaster,Harrisburg, Harrisonburg, Santa Barbara, Salem. (Yes, those are all the places I have been to in 1.5 years. Scary and amazing.) All of these faces have a story. A unique, sometimes dark, often complex, and beautiful story. But because of the nature of who I am right now I am only able to create a brief glimpse into a life that I may never fully know.

The Art of Leaving. Part I

I decided to write about this because it is something I struggle with.
Leaving.
I'm scared of being left behind.
No, let's clarify; I'm TERRIFIED of being left behind. (Note that I'm not referring to the George Bush or Revelations rendition of the phrase.)
I've spent the larger majority of my last ten years struggling with my family leaving me behind and having this fear effect my relationships with men, with friendships, and with myself even.
So what did I do?
I left.
I left over and over again.
I kept leaving. I left my thoughts. I abandoned some of my emotions and moved onto other fears I wanted to face.
After all, if I'm the one who keeps leaving, it becomes harder for someone to leave me? Logical,no?

Now, I do have to give myself some credit as well, because an abandoner am I not. I do, however, define myself as being an adventurer. After spending some time picking up my pieces I wanted to feel, breathe, experience, talk, and live. But in order to do it, I had to leave. I didn't just leave a location, I left a state of mind. I wanted to stop thinking.. SO MUCH, about everything. I wanted to throw caution to the wind.

I don't think I should be too hard on myself and also have to take credit for the years that I stayed. I loved myself enough to commit to therapy, to crying, to writing, to talking, and learning. I made myself face the situation I was in and learn how to be ok with what was left.


Well, here I am. With the same fear I started facing in 2001.

I'm thinking about not leaving. I'm thinking about getting that studio apartment in Northwest DC. I'm thinking about getting some bookshelves and unpacking my clothes. I'm thinking about spending a year staying. In one place. (minus some adventures here and there).
but these are just some thoughts.

LOL. (Laugh Out Loud)

I really enjoy laughing. I love lots of types of humor... quirky, dry, accidental, parodies, satires... I like it. I laugh.

I have so many funny friends in my life.
Some recent people that have made me laugh include...

Majed. Majed and I could sit and laugh for hours. Literally, it seemed as though all we did was laugh. Sometimes we would sit and watch Youtube videos and just laugh, take bike rides along the river path (the river path is void of river, but if you have ever lived in the southwest you know that people really want to pretend they have water and things like rivers, so they call dried up washes, rivers, rationalizing that because once a year during a heavy monsoon water will flow through it for about 10 minutes) and laugh across the way to each other, make dinner- laugh,.. . Our senses of humors clicked well, so we fed off of one another. He is a brilliant creature whom is often as equally silly.. combination=really funny.

Beth. Beth and I were meant to do stand up together. Really, we probably weren't, but ourcombined jokes, make me SO happy. The Katie, Beth, Becky, Emily, Elissa, Annie, Dan, Stepan combo= killer.

I could go on and on about all my funny friends. But I'm going to stop here for a minute.. and talk about Jane Doe. Jane Doe sends the best emails ever. I LOL everytime I read her emails. I don't have her permission yet to post these, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway just because they are so awesome.
Here's a bit of what it's like to be friends with my lovely friend, Jane Doe. (everyone's name is Jane Doe- Fyi, not quite as funny(ironically), but when I have some time I'll make up fun names for them.)

sample 1:
"I am typing with two hands today because Jane Doe is napping. It feels so lovely to type with two hands.

Jane Doe I cant believe you jogged!!! Super -mom. Or just super strong perineum!! You have the best perineum ever. I still have not gone walking but I think I am going to attempt a walk in the park today."

sample 2:
"yes the dress is great. Wearing a bra is of upmost importance. I ordered a bra through the mail and just received it yesterday. It is a 34G. Plus with the milk leaking I need breast pads at all times so I will definitely be wearing a bra on becky and stepans wedding day. My boobs are still larger than Ellie's head. My perineum cringes at the thought of what it would be like to birth one of my breasts. So thankfully I just birthed a baby. Speaking of my perineum cringing. Whenever I hear someone talk about having 8+ children, my vagina cries a little bit.


Jane Doe I am confused a little bit about what exactly you want me to measure. Maybe its because my brain is still sleep deprived despite the fact that my mom is feeding
Jane Doe one bottle per day. I think when my mom leaves I will probably go from being a little slow to being MR.
Jane Doe you should do an intelligence test on me and maybe I could qualify for some sort of government assistance?

I am so excited that you guys are all cutting your hair short. I would like to do that too.
Jane Doe can you send me a picture of your new haircut. I hope you left a tail in the back. Remember
Jane Doe our old youth leader from church. She had that sweet braided tail. man some people are just too cool to handle.

My mother has been introduced to all sorts of "worldly" things since she has been at our house. I have introduced her to The Kardashians (she had never heard of them), the movie The Hangover, house hunters, meet the fockers, and swamp people. She is totally intrigued but I feel that I am damaging her precious little mind with our fancy cable TV.

Elissa I am planning on ordering another bra so if you want you can use it as a sleeping bag you can when we have our all girl slumber party. Just wanted to let you know so you didn't pack a sleeping bag."

sample 3:
"Jane Doehas been intermittantly screaming/crying sinve 4 30am.. it is 1 15pm. i am sending her to gauntanamo bay to torture the prisoners there."


sampe 4:
"Yes Jane Doe I will take a size small then. Elissa I have a dress of Jane Doe's that she just grew out of. Do you want me to send it to you? You might be able to wear it for the rehearsal dinner. Its has pink and black polka dots and has a little black cardigen to match. Just let me know.

I know these emails are directed towards wedding planning so I am sorry if I am boring you with details of my life with Jane Doe. But I feel the need to share this information. So for the last couple of nights I was convinced that Jane Doe was trying to kill me through sleep deprivation and audio annoyance. But then last night she slept for 4 hours!!! So exciting. I did give her mylecon before bed which I am now calling "Jane Doe's magic sleep potion" I am not having any high expectations for tonight but I was thinking about making a chart and giving Jane Doe gold stars for sleeping 4 or more hours and if she saves up enough then I will not send her to Cuba. Elissa I think you as a teacher can relate with this plan of action."

and finally
sample 5:
"so you know how sometimes you say sarcastically about someone "oh he thinks he is so cool that he thinks his shit don't stink" well I have met someone who literally believes that his shit does not stink and that is my dad.........the other night he claimed to me that his diet is so pure of fruits and vegetables that his stool is nearly odorless. WTF

So you know how babies cry and spit up and get gassy because their little digestive systems are immature. Well my dad was suggesting that maybe Ellie needs probiotic enzyme supplements...........remind me not to let my dad watch her lest he be feeding her activia yogurt at 4 weeks old. WTF

so my dad loves his car more than almost anything else and he spends hours waxing his car. Well he thinks my car looks terrible so he has spent the last 2 days waxing my car. Which is lovely, but he claims that the paint looks so bad because birds poop on the car and their stool is very acidic and damages the paint. I wondered aloud if my dad pooped on my car would it still cause damage to the paint? is his stool along with being nearly odorless also non-acidic???

also my dad made me watch this hour and a half long lecture on the internet as to why fructose is poison. Then he ate a bowl of icecream with chocolate syrup. WTF

Last night I was of course up with Jane Doe and I started to think about my dads odorless stool and I just started giggling and I couldnt stop. I am surprised that he didnt have me smell it or something. I think the only person who can claim nearly odorless stool is Jane Doe. Maya could probably make that claim as well.

well everyone is going to bed and I will be awake."



Don't you wish you got emails from her too?

Vanilla Chip, Raison Cookie

A student came in today with a smile and a cookie. He said, "Ms. Cirignotta, thanks for being my teacher."

:) A sweet part of the day.

Sarah. Plain, and Tall.

I did something again today that I don't normally do. I'm giving away my precious 20 minute lunch time to read with students.
This lunch break is sometimes my ONLY time throughout the day without children. I value it.

But one of my guided reading groups is reading Sarah Plain and Tall! I say that as though it's a surprise to me, and as though I wasn't the one to walk down to the book room and pick all of my childhood favorites. (We've got Charlotte's Web, James and the Giant Peach, Double Fudge, Misty of Chincoteague, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory going right now.)
Truth be told, I think the only reason they are excited to read this story is because I've been acting like a giddy ten year old. Yesterday we read through our lunch. (I had to hide a tear that I felt welling up as Sarah wrote back to little Caleb, telling him that she does in fact sing.) They asked me if they could come back today to read at lunch. I couldn't say no.

Today's menu: roasted brussel sprouts, black eyed pea soup, 3 students, and Sarah. Plain. and Tall.

All in a day.

So yesterday I decided to do something that I don't normally do. Or rather, something I've never done. I did an hour by hour documentation of my day, inspired by Rebekah.

And here it is.

9:00 hour- I journaled... and then laid in bed daydreaming.

10:00 hour: Cafe; always a treat. I didn't just

drink coffee for an entire hour, close, but a bit over the top. I also read a book about vampires. I'm SUCKED in! (I promise it's not Twilight)

11:00 hour: I took a shower. Obviously not for an hour, but a critical part of my day. Then I

metroed my my butt to Eastern Market... not knowing what the day had in store for me.

12:00 hour: Most of my 12 o'clock hour was spent with my two friends at lunch... however

technically part of it was still on the metro because the steamy hot vampire sex scene in my book required ALL my focus forcing

me to miss my metro stops.

1:00 hour: Lunching with Courts and Liz. The highlight of our lunch was by far the moment when the waitress came to the table, took our silverware back, and gave it to another table. I didn't even have time to tell her I had already used the spoon. So strange.

2:00 hour: I bought a lady bug clip at the market for my sweet little Maya Robin.

3:00 hour: I stopped by Jill's house to pee and fill up my water bottle. She gave me ice and

lemons to put in my bottle. This is Pippa. Well rather this is her nose. We took Pippa for a walk this hour.

4:00 hour: I found people that I love sitting in the park. Jill went her way and I sat down.

5:00 hour: I danced to the drums for a bit. Then I hula hooped, but mainly I was thinking, "San is so pretty." :)

6:00 hour: I met Sakar. Sakar and I bonded over a story Joel told us about hairy yetties from Switzerland that fought ogres and orks.? Sakar has the hairiest face in the whole world and now I can say I've met the man with the hairiest face in the whole world. (I'm allowed to say things like that because I'm a hairy Italian.)He's also very funny and likes to play tag with 9 year olds and dance barefoot.

_____________________
7:00 hour- My 7 o'clock can hardly be given the privilege of having a photograph. The rain broke up the drum circle. We ran for cover. Then I had a Harold and Kumar go to White Castle moment, trying to get to my dinner party. I was several years late to dinner.

8:00 and 9:00 hour: I watched Jeremy cook us shrimp kabobs and spinach risotto, while Jason and

Courtney and I did this-

10:00 hour: This is how I left them.

11:00-12:00 hours: Vampire book reading in bed. No photographs. It got graphic.

Ten years ago.

On a cruel sunny day ten years ago, I was asked to sit down on a fifteen year old reupholstered cozy sofa, in a dark living room, in an empty house, in Belleville PA.

I was informed my life would never be the same.

I remember breathing in freshly cut grass. I remember seeing sadness.

That was the day that ridiculous glass ball I lived in shattered. At least that's what I thought happened. Today I visualize release and freedom.

The ball was broke and I was set free.

Ten years?

It really does seem like just yesterday, and at the same time it was a lifetime ago.
Last night I made myself reflect on the last ten years. 14 countries. 28 states. 3 continents. 2 heartbreaks. 3 hearthurts. 2 loves. 3 cross country road trips. 6 Pacific Highway journeys. 6,879 gallons of tears. 1 shaman. 2 degrees. 11 apartments. 3 jobs. 1 Burning Man. 6 years of therapy. 1 wink at Oprah. 2 summitted volcanoes. 7 journals. 2 cats. 20 weddings. 175,987 kisses. 2 parents. then 0. then 1. 2 bikes. 280(ish) students. 1 pakistani(everyone should have their own pakistani). 2 cars. More friends than I can count. 1 moon.

Thank you Lindsay, and Todd, and Katrina, and Rebekah and Becky. Thank you Beth and Becky. And Elieen and Jasibi. And Majed, and Liz, and Coutney, and Justina and Paul, and Kylie, and Troy, and Elysia. Thank you Joanna and Steph, and Megan, and Uppie, and January, and Shea. Thank you Maria and Ursula, and Jill. Thank you Brian. Thank you Ash and Jeremy. and Natalie. and Jeremy. Thank you Emily and Annie, and Dan. And Stepan and Brad. Thank you Dave. And Kelly and Dega and Brendan. and Larry. Thank you Shannon. And Kari and real friend Katie.

For challenging and loving and pushing and loving and holding and kissing and healing and loving.

I am who I am because of who I am and you are a part of who I am.

Not everything has worked out the way I hoped or thought I wanted it to. Today I celebrate.

Signs smigns.

I have quite literally applied to close to 50 jobs within the last 4 months.And I've been extended 2 interviews to two jobs that I did not directly apply to, in NOT my top location choice.

Sign?

Some signs are quite clear. "STOP" for example. Clear.

They warn you. Animals may jump in front of your car, so slow down. Clearly.

They guide you to the bathroom. Helpful.

They inform you of your consequences. Considerate.

Sometimes they state the obvious. Obviously.

They tell

you how to get to Mexico.

They even tell you when you can't go any further. Time saver.

Some signs direct you to see glimpses of your future?

They remind us to remain open.

Sometimes they let us fill in the blanks.

I guess I'll go at my own speed? My sign seems empty.

Arlington.

I found magic today.

I don't know Arlington well, as I've never had a need to. I prefer to be in DC and therefore have spent little time in the outskirts of the city.

I started walking not knowing where I was going. I followed a bike path for about half a mile and ended up in a lush green land of trees, flowers, wooden benches and cool breezes. I think I even heard a stream somewhere, (very likely could have been conjured up in my imagination.)

I was intrigued by my findings. I didn't know such loveliness existed in the suburbs. Am I delusional?

At one point, in a true stalker's fashion, I stopped to watch a gentleman playing his piano. He was cozy in his living room, I was on the sidewalk. I stood there long enough for this man to sense my presence and give me odd looks. Crazy? yes.

Then, it's true, I swang on a tire swing in someone's yard. I had to. I lacked impulse control. I saw it and I envisioned men in tights dancing to a melodious fairy tale tune prancing around in synchronized rhythm, if I were to actually have a swing at it. So I did. And that's when I realized, perhaps I am crazy.

As I tried to find my way back home I remembered how lovely it feels to be lost. Even if it's in Arlington.

Why do we do the things we do?

I stumbled across this photograph the other day.

I'm not sure if there are words to sum up my thoughts. First I laughed at Ms. Razzleberry, then I shook my head at the ridiculousness of some of our decisions. One blind mouse? Fo realz? At least our costumes are handmade??

My next 30 years? Too cheesy?

Today during an assembly we had a story teller come in and tell the 3rd through 5th graders stories about the civil war.

She told a story about a little boy named Logan Davis. He was a 12 year old slave that was given the chance of freedom at a young age.

During this story my mind started to drift tothe shortness of our lifetimes. Soon it seems people will be telling stories of events that occur during my generation.

I think about events that have occurred during my lifetime that will most likely be retold in history books and through story tellers.

It made me later reflect on things that are important to me and things that I want to accomplish. What is my list? What do I want to do in my lifetime?

In 3 weeks I'll be 28.

I've been swimming against the current for ten years trying to undo and remedy events that occurred in my life and accomplish goals that have been important to me.

I'm brought back to a place that I left two years ago and faced with decisions.

I go back to my list today and sit and ponder how to make those items reality.

Love; I want to find love and a partner... something I have little control of. However I could probably work on my filter, or lack thereof. And be ok with not having the type of love I mentioned.

Inspiration; I want to make sure the people, jobs, and community I enter and am a part of inspire and challenge me.

Freshness; I want to understand how to create newness in sameness. (think about that for a minute)

Relationships; Relationships are the most significant part of my life. I want to continue to nurture and grow my family and friendships.

Chips; I want to eat less chips and more carrots.

Selflessness; I want to focus my energy on love. I need tolearn how to become more selfless.

I am highly influenced by my feelings, my moods, my selfishness... I would love to work on my emotional development and self awareness.

I want to put my ideas into practice. I want to live in Greece, or Argentina, or Brazil, and Morrocco, or Turkey, and Italy.. I want to get another degree. or three. I want to conquer my fear of heights. Maybe climb more trees. I'd really really like to finally tackle French (not the French, but rather the language), and Sign Language.

I would like to see the Taj Mahal.

I would like to have sex in a bungalow in Bali over sunset.

I want to write a book.

I want to own my own dog someday.

I want to consistently have a garden.

I want a clothesline and then force myself to never use a dryer.

I want to hike down the grand canyon.

I would enjoy seeing a live Opera in Europe.

I want to dance to Afro Funk music in my living room on a weekly basis.

I want to take lots of pictures.

I want to document my adventures.

I want to go open up a small restaurant on the coast of Portugal and greet my customers with a hug and kiss and only serve 4 items on the menu and wear flowy skirts and play loud live music and give everyone a free glass of wine.

I want to walk the Great Wall of China and walk through a rice patty field with an old Chinese man.

I want to learn from everything I do.

I want to own a piano and re-teach myself to play.

I want to avoid dead ends.

I want to understand why my Nonna is so crazy.

I want to train across the United States and journal about all the people I meet and stories I hear. Then to do the same thing in Europe and compare notes.

...

And in doing so, I want to remember that any force I place in one direction always creates an opposite force with equal intensity.

Homonyms.

Bye
Buy

Teacher: Can somebody give me a sentence for the word bye?
Student: When I leave dinner I wave goodbye.
Teacher: You wave to your family when you leave the table? That's sweet. (?) (or strange)*smile*
Teacher: Can anybody give me a sentence now for the word buy?
Student: When I go to the grocery story I buy two condoms.
Teacher: Um. pause. hmm. Yes, that is the correct use of the word buy. Hmm. What is it that you buy?
Student: condimins. comdims.
Teacher: Condiments, like ketchup and mustard? (please please say yes)
Student: No, like, you know, the Italian thing.
Teacher: WTF (in my head)
Student: Cannolims
Teacher: CANNOLIS! You buy two cannolis at the grocery store! GREAT JOB!

The Other Woman.

I remember the day Beth packed up her car and left DC. She was looking for gold in California.

It probably is so clear in my memory because of the manner in which the packing and leaving occurred.

When I moved, I didn't have much more than a month warning. During that month I spent most of my free time getting rid of my belongings, storing boxes at my dad's house, organizing and cleaning.

Beth left on a Saturday morning, and started packing on the Friday before.

It was a sad day to see her go. DC was different without her.

Instead of finding gold Beth found student loans waiting for her at the Wright Institute where she began pursing a degree in Psychology.

Shortly after arriving to the Bay area, Beth met Katie. She seemed cool enough and I was super happy Beth had someone to hang out with that she liked. I heard stories about her on our phone calls (I call Beth too much.), and was looking forward to meeting an addition to our small family.

The first time I met Katie I went to San Francisco for SB '09 (:)) with an ex boyfriend. Katie was super cute and sweet. She had a perfect little dog, a sweet, soft naughty cat, beautiful homemade art on her walls, and I could tell she really liked our beloved Beth. My only

complaint, which still stands, is the level of pda. For realz. Actually, I don't really care too much, it's more that it's like watching my sister make out; nobody really likes watching family make out.

What stuck out to me most about her was her sense of humor.

Over the last 2.5 years I've grown to love Katie more and more until we recently reached the ultimate amazingness in our relationship. Are you ready for it?

Katie gave me her shorts. For all intensive purposes we'll just say it was on the streets of Vegas. Technically we stopped in to use a Casino restroom for the strip down, but the end result was Katie walking around with a long see-through shirt and lesbian underwear, so she might as well have just taken them off on the corner of Vegas Blvd and Street of Sin.

Yes, Katie took off her shorts and gave them to me. Why? because I'm a hairy Italian who had shaved two days before and my growing hair was cutting my leg!!??! WHO DOES THAT?

Katie is my real friend. I don't always require stripping to enter the category of "real friendship", and fortunately we had decided at least a year or so earlier that we were real friends, however she gave the phrase "I'll give you the shirt off my back", a whole new meaning. :)

Maybe Beth did find gold after all.

Facing the fear

I have some friends in my life that are so brutally honest with me.

I suppose a method of growth is having people push and challenge you. Courtney has been a pusher and challenger since I first met her, about five years ago.

If you know me well, you know I am oober sensitive. I prefer to be called out on my shit in a gentle manner. Or perhaps rather, I prefer to be called out by people that I have formed a trusting relationship with.

I love Courtney and I have always felt loved back by her, so when she chose to tell me what she told me last night, in the midst of placing dollar bills in a drag queen's cleavage, I had to stop and just listen to her words.

She ended her mini lecture with, "Face your fears, Elissa."

I have a handful of fears, but through years of reflection, I think I've concluded that they all stem from one major fear.

A fear that is difficult to face. I'm not quite sure what facing it even looks like, however I will begin to allow it to pass over and through me.

So, thank you my kind friend, for telling me things I need to hear, with love, in a gay bar.

Antonyms

Dear Ms. Cirignotta,

You look verry pretty, not ugly. It's a good thing your dressed, not naked. I am hot, are you cold. You'r not a boy, you are a girl. I am short, you are tall.

From,
student.

4th Grade tips

"You don't ever ask a woman how old she is, unless you go on a date with her. You know, kuz if you wanna get married you have to know she's not your gramma's age." - Fourth Grader

hot and cold.

My students know what antonyms are because of Katy Perry.

Stop. look. smell.

DC at night is quite lovely. A walk through the monuments at night with a sweet red head who stops to smell the roses and isn't afraid to put his arm around you, is also lovely.

I don't think I'm alone in being afraid to open up to new people. I sometimes feel sad that it gets scarier and scarier each time.

So for the time being, I'm going to enjoy the pauses to stop and smell the roses. (Truth be told, I just really like using that phrase, even if it doesn't quite make sense.)

Brad's hair. Justina's eyes.

It's amazing how when some things go so wrong there are people in your life that can make things seem alright.

With the loss of what was my family and the process of rebuilding, I had to learn how to redefine family.

Today I have several little families scattered all over the world. One of them consists of two people in Portland, two in San Francisco, and now 3 in Lancaster PA. Recently we had an addition to the fam.

I got to meet my niece this weekend. Maya Robin.

Despite the projectile pooping on the wall, she was practically perfect.

Maya is half Brad and half Justina. This still really blows my mind. She has Brad's hairiness and Justina's eyes.